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Date: 22/04/14

Hard To Swallow

The late, great Beachcomber, towards the end of his days, said that he saw little point in writing his surreal pieces anymore, because he found that reality was getting there way before him.

I can sympathise, especially after reading this story about a charmless nurk from Tyneside who swallowed a goldfish in a drinking stunt.

There are two aspects to the report which made me boggle:

Firstly, that there is - even in the over-legislated UK - such a criminal offence as "...failing to meet the needs of a goldfish";

And secondly, this line:

"A vet report advised that the stomach would be a completely unsuitable place for a goldfish..."

Nothing, I feel, needs to be added.