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Date: 19/10/17

The Mash Street Kid

I think I've regressed...

Photo of a plate of sausage and mash

I will now start saying things like, "Coo!" when I see something interesting, "Groo!" when having to take medicine, and go around looking for those old metal dustbins with the domed lids on them. Oh, Minnie, Roger, Billy and Plug, where are you now?

(It would certainly sound better than things do at present: my GP indicated this morning that I have enough earwax to start an export business (has anyone got Liam Fox's phone number? You have? Good. Ring him up and call him a complete and utter prick; it's all he deserves), which is why my whole world has been in mono for the last three weeks, removing my ability to enjoy my precious music. I'm getting them syringed next Thursday.)