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Date: 15/11/17

Hello! Hello! What's Your Lady Friend?

Going around town yesterday afternoon, first I saw this sign in the window of what I think was a charity shop:

Sign saying, 'All Ladies Just £1.99'

I didn't investigate any further, partly because to do so would destroy some essence of the moment, but mostly for fear of what I might discover. I averted my gaze and blushingly moved on.

Then by the bus station was a large advertisement for a local mini-cab firm which offered (inter alia):

Sign saying, 'Female Friendly Drivers'

So, this company offers friendly drivers who are female, does it? Or is it proffering the services of drivers who are friendly to females? Elderly gay men, for example (although some of them can be total bitches, to be honest)? And define 'friendly'; how do you avoid this scenario from an old Hello Cheeky prisoner-of-war escape committee sketch of forty years' vintage?

"Now then, chaps, you may be wondering why I've asked you all to dress as German fräuleins. Well, it's partly because it turns me on. But mostly, it's so that when you meet a Jerry soldier, he'll be friendly to you. But I've also insisted that you don't shave, so that he doesn't get too friendly."

One might have to be an Oxford professor of ancient Greek to parse all the possible meanings out of it. As the words were one on top of the other, a comma would have been stylistically unnecessary in order to give the first meaning, but a hyphen would have helped to provide the second meaning which - I assume - was the one intended.