Picture of a judge's wigThe Judge RANTS!Picture of a judge's wig

Date: 31/03/14

Out Of Touch Typing

If you pride yourself on being a pretty good typist (as I do), then there are few things which will more readily create a sense of mounting rage than those times - possibly just a few minutes long, sometimes up to a day or so - when all the wheels fall off and you just keep hitting the wrong keys (or even not hitting them at all, and bruising your pinky on that gap between the 'Enter' and 'Delete' keys).

It happened to me again yesterday. I blame the fact that for two or three days beforehand I had been working on a project that I'd volunteered for which required me to type in my second language using a keyboard designed very definitely for my first.

It was all over the place, although you can be momentarily transported into a parallel universe where whsy upi tu[e bu joyyinh yhr krus necy ti thr pned ypi ontemded ti hot actually makes sense.

And I'd love to get hold of the cross-threaded twerp who put the colon/semi-colon key in that position; I keep hitting it instead of the apostrophe.

There are also certain names and certain combinations of letters that I seem permanently unable to handle without going into the typing equivalent of the bus lane. 'Louise' is one I have trouble with; ditto with 'Williams'. And any word featuring the combination 'tch' always but always emerges on first pass with the first two letters transposed.

So, if your name is 'Louise Pritchard-Williams' and you ever get a missive from me addressing you as 'Lousie Pricthard Willimas', I don't mean anything by it. Honest.