The Judge
RAVES!
Date: 12/05/15
Trust Me
Goodness knows that I was in need of something to amuse me today. And this was one of the very few times when I wished I had one of those phoney camera efforts; you know, the sort that absolutely everyone has, right down to Boris and Doris Morris from Corris, their son Norris, and their pet loris Horace.
I was on the way home on the bus, and we were going through the back roads of a neighbouring village, when I saw a white van parked in front of one of the houses. The side of the van nearer to me had the sliding door open, with the following announcement on the side:
Well, it may well pay to advertise the fact, although the veracity of the statement is, of course, for others to judge. It only put me in mind of Nelson Ahlgren's admonition, "Never play cards with a man called 'Doc', never eat at a place called 'Mom's', and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own".
It was only as we eased down the slope that I saw the other side of the van; the one without the door open. All was then revealed:
I was then reminded, not of the wise words of a noted author, but of a dirty joke. Two nurses are chatting, and one says to the other, "You know that good-looking young man in Bed 14? I had to give him a blanket bath this morning, and d'you know what? He's got 'LUDO' tattooed on his cock!" The second nurse gives a smug smile, and says, "That's not 'LUDO', darling; that's 'LLANDUDNO'!".
Wurl...
